Wednesday, June 18, 2014

Makeup and Hair Stuff I Have Learned In the Wee Hours

Ok, I am so not an expert at makeup and I don't even wear that much but I get stuck on pinterest when I can't sleep or something like that and I go off on little tangents and I think I have much improved my skills? At least Wyatt agrees. You should check out how to do your makeup based on your features.

Nose contouring examples:

This one is majorly different for me.  If you have hooded or deep set eyes (like me), you have been doing your eyemakeup all wrong! Check out the tips for your type of eye and make sure you haven't been doing it all wrong.

And last, I have been checking out recommended hairstyles for my face shape. I have a heart shaped face, so pinterest says I should have side swept bangs or some major volume around my chin and neck area.  Hmm....

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Monday, June 16, 2014

Date Paste And Other Nonsense

It allll started with me trying to make this smoothie that called for a raw date.  I got ticked off because the date wouldn't blend up. The smoothie was fabulous and I was a little interested in using dates as natural sweeteners instead of honey. On my next trip to Costco, I bought a whole ginormous pack of medjool dates (little wrinkly buggy looking things). 

I found a recipe for date paste that calls for soaking the dates in water overnight and blending the mixture in the morning.  WaLah. Smoothie problem solved. I now have pureed dates or date paste in my fridge and in my freezer.  Maybe even a lifetime supply of date paste and still a ton of dates in my fridge.  The stuff is good and all, but there is only so many uses for dates. I guess I should hit up pinterest and start looking for date recipes. 

People...I am not one of those crazies that likes to make date paste but anything for a good smoothie I guess? I fluctuate between fat lazy american mode and let's be one with nature mode.

For example, I have no problem with eating at McDonald's and scarfing chips, but I cloth diaper and use cloth wipes (most of the time). I am currently using a coconut oil based deodorant and face wash, but I spend hours a day sitting in front of a computer.  I drive a truck that averages about 13 mpg, but I drink decaf green tea like crazy. 

Identity crisis aside, please send me your favorite date recipes, and feel free to make your own lifetime supply of date paste following this method.

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Friday, June 13, 2014

Dare I Call This a Fitness Post?

So I joined a new fitness center that is less SAHM and more Balla' and I like it so much more...even if their weight room is crummy.  On top of that, yay child care. I always try to pretend like I am not a child care snob, but let's be honest, I am a child care snob. The gym I joined last summer made me feel like Wyatt was just an ant in a big ol pile of swarming children and if he wasn't crying the loudest nobody would notice him.  I mean of course they would keep him alive but I shouldn't expect more than that.  This one has much fewer people, and the same 2 people staffing it, and they seem to know the kids names and it just gives me a much warmer fuzzier feeling.

So anyways, I am allowed to take them for 2 hours in the morning and 2 hours in the afternoon.  That is a lot of hours!! So far we have made it 10 minutes without being paged for a crying baby girl that is very fond of her mother.  The child care lady said I should just take her every day so that pretty much means I could be the fittest ever. Or I can do a 10 minute workout every day.  That is so worth the amount of time it takes me to load them up and pack their stuff up.

I have visions of lap pools and playin pick up basketball and other fun child free activities. I have a dream....

Until then....this cracks me up

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Tuesday, June 10, 2014


Each little new trick the babe learns causes a whole nuther round of sleep disruptions.  We conquered the rollover.  We made progress on the crawling in bed with a little round of post vacation "baby jail".  We are now up against the pullup. Perhaps the worst in my experience?  Lots of banging heads on the crib and getting stuck in the stand up position.  One time Wyatt fell asleep standing up.  Ha ha!

You basically have 3 options to survive these developmental phases:

1. Become a mama-parasite. I am one with the baby. As long as you stay physically attached to me at all times you will not realize you are even sleeping.  You will float on the mama cloud and capture sweet zzzzzzs while I sleep sitting up, or with you gnawing on me, or with you squished up against me and you better not breathe or move or release me.

2.  Become a body builder. Nurse, rock, shake or swing into oblivion.  Hold your breath, cross your eyes, lay el bebe down so gently that they don't realize they have been transferred to their own space.  Relax your permanently flexed muscles. Stand up straight. Now tiptoe out of the room ninja style and hope your knees dont pop or you don't breathe too loud or close the doorknob incorrectly.  Whew.  Deep breath.  "waaahhhh" Repeat as necessary. The only problem with this one is each month this trick gets a little harder as they get a little smarter and more alert. That's ok...your muscles with grow along with your bebe.

3. Become a drill sergeant.  Suck it up baby. You can cry alllllll night and I can outlast, out-cry, out-gag-on-your-own-mucous-because-you-are-so-upset you. Alternate between reassuring yourself that you know what is best for your baby and feeling like your baby will never have a self esteem in the future because you allowed them to cry...ALONE...IN THEIR DEEP DARK SLEEPING PLACE. And they will remember this day when they get their first B- in know it's true.

As you can see, these are all winners. I will put myself out there and state that I choose option C.  Because. This one. Gives. THE fastest. RESULTS. And I use this within reason.  And they learn so fast after a little cry a night or two.  And Wyatt...he loves to go to bed to this day.  And he is a great sleeper. And that boy...he cried...alot.  Okk? So I am not going to defend myself anymore. Stop attacking me.

So here is to tonight. And to much shorter rounds of standing in the crib waiting for a mommy rescue.

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